Wow. I have passed cloud 9 and am sitting like a Goddess on Cloud 11. I am still in awe at  my blessings and fortune over the last 18 hours. I am jubilant and euphoric and plussed and stoked and ecstatic and so many other things right now. There is definitely a part of me that is expecting to wake from this fantasy world that could not possibly really exist right now. Pinch me because I must be dreaming.

I got an 25$ worth of gas last night for giving a ride and didn't even have to go out of my way! 

The person whom I have been fighting for for the last 3 months FINALLY realized how valuable I am and told me repeatedly and vehemently how much he has missed me and how much he enjoys having me around. He APOLOGIZED for taking so long to contact me. It was everything I could have (but didn't because it was SO far-fetched) hoped for and even some things I didn't even know were possible. I felt so loved and valued and worthy and beautiful and special and important. It was VERY heady. I have been high on this buzz all day long. I am literally still somewhat in shock that the evening went the way that it did. I kept telling him that I was afraid to blink because it was going away and he said, 'try blinking, because it's not going away.' (!!!!) he was very constant and steady in his appreciation and value of me and kept telling me that it wasn't a dream and that he wasn't running away anymore. It was amazing. I am so awestruck. I feel like I just won the lottery.  I can't stop smiling. It has just been amazing and fantastic and unbelievable. I am SO blessed and lucky.

Also awesome, my brother paid back the 200$ he owes me and my other brother is taking care of my $250 car repair bill that I have had outstanding at their dad's shop.

I also got the CUTEST silver ballet flats for $9 at wal-mart.

I am just having the most fantastically awesome day.

It feels so good after so  many sad and lonely days.

H.

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast....

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.

I am doing so much better. Just thought you all might want to know. :D

I have been a while in updating about school, a combination of a poor summer-to-school transition as well as laziness and busy-ness on my part. Well this morning I find that my groove is a little thrown off and I have about 20 minutes to kill before I can do anything productive. Therefore, I provide for your reading enjoyment, an update.

School Version 2.0:

So we are on the 2nd Friday of the semester already (2 weeks down, 14 to go); Usually with a new school semester, I may change my school plans two or three times before everything finds it's home within the general groove of my life. So instead of simply posting which classes I am taking, I am going to give you a broader scope of my time budget throughout the semester: 

Mondays and Wednesdays
Wake at 6am
work out from 7:15 to 8am (this usually consists of 20 minutes of Cardio and then 25 min of strength training with special emphasis on Ab and Arm workouts.
Shower in gym from 8 to 8:30. This ensures that I am fresh and awake for the rest of my day.
BIO 111 from 9:00 to 9:50. I just recently got hired as a 'note-taker' in this class, which basically means I get paid 8$ to attend class every time I have class.
Tutoring in Learning Lab from 10am to 12pm; this also pays 8$/hr and is based on whether I have any appointments scheduled on a given day, the trend so far though is that I am scheduled to tutor for all of my available appointments which roughly translates to 13 hours a week of tutoring.
Lunch from 12 to 1pm
Sociology from 1 to 1:50pm; this is certain to be one of my more difficult classes this semester and already the only class I am really behind in.
Composition 1 from 2 to 2:50. I enjoy this class so far, but I haven't had my first paper yet either.
Tutor from 3-4pm
Break 4-6pm (on Monday only, on Wednesday I usually work from  4:30 to 9pm)
Intro to American Government Monday nights from 6 to 8:40pm. I have this class with my best friend, which is usually a pro and a con, the prof is very talkative and prone to tangents, he uses the fact that it is a political science class to justify his being off track during lecture and promises not to hold us responsible for things not at least glanced at during lecture. We try to see how long we can keep him off topic over the course of the lecture, which proves to be an amusing recreation.

Tuesday:
Wake at 6am
work out from 7:15 to 8am
Bio 111 Lab 9 to 10:50
Tutoring: I am available to tutor from 11am to 4pm, and I usually get an hour for lunch somewhere in there.
Work:4:30 to 9pm (I usually work 3-4 nights a week, which can be anywhere between Tuesday and Saturday each week.
I usually go out on Tuesday or Wednesday each week, and the other night I spend over at my friend Josh's house, he plays video games a lot which is a nice, mindless way to spend a weekday night. This week we played Oblivion and Fable 2.

Thursday (also known as sleep catch-up day)
as the alternate title suggests, I don''t have any Thursday obligations until possible work at 4:30. After three long days on campus, I usually try to catch up on my sleep on this day. Occasionally I will go out on Thursday nights, but it really depends on who is playing at the bar I frequent.

Friday looks mostly like Wednesday, except for the working out.

Weekends include homework primarily and occasionally a social event. Definitely catching up on sleep over the weekend.

So for a quick recap:

14 credit hours of class which translates to about 18 actual hours of class per week (which includes the working out, because I get a credit for that).

13-15 hours of paid tutoring per week

12-20 hours work in the evenings per week

32-48 hours of sleep per week

So basically I am busy as hell, broke as hell and sleep deprived. I realized that my life is divided neatly into thirds and my personality and priorities shift slightly for each third.

1. School Julia: she is shiny and vibrant, though sometimes a little tarnished from not sleeping, usually VERY caffeinated, unaware of the other Julias influence on her ability to succeed when she is not on campus.

2: Sangamo club Julia: This julia is the most pragmatic and responsible and is slowly being edged out by the other two. Feels the financial and sleep deficits the most acutely, this Julia is fighting a losing battle for a healthy balance.

3. Social Julia: definitely the most reckless and unhealthy of the three, this Julia doesn't acknowledge the need for sleep, discipline or responsiblity and still believes it's summer and that she can party until the wee hours of morning. Likes to drink, though doesn't require it. Has developed a more dangerous addiction than drugs or alcohol which is going to be much more difficult and painful to break if it ever becomes necessary to do so. This Julia is the most dominant and the most resistant to balance.

So as you can see, I have quite a juggling act going on this semester. I hope things become a little more balanced and healthy as the semester progresses. If not, I will just do the best I can with what I have. 

So now I am going to eat breakfast. Ciao! 
 

Today's writer's block question really made me giggle! I mean; twilight + baseball?! I  mean I know the Cullens play baseball but how many MLB fans read/watched Twilight? How many Twilighters give a crap about MLB? Seriously!? Well, interestingly enough, I have been following the Cubs pretty thoroughly this month and have a pretty good grip on their shining players this season; Also I would totally play baseball if I were a Vampire. Shoot, I want to play baseball right now (except for the rain today)! 

So, although the parts of the question are kind of an oxymoron, it is an oxymoron which I can honestly answer.

I would have to sire Alfonso Soriano of the Chicago Cubs. (no. 12; LF) He's from the Dominican Republic, he is a damn good batter and fielder and he is very fast. His deal with the Cubs was the most the team has ever spent on a single player in the history of the team... He played for Five years with the NY Yankees. And  most importantly he would make an incredibly sexy vampire and all the girl vampires in the Cullen team would be distracted by his shining smile. He has a wife and young children though, so I would probably feel a bitty bit guilty for taking him from them! 

Edit: Even better than the stupidity of the question is the RESPONSES to the question. Humanity at it's very best! I tip my hat to the guy who made this question and single-handedly pissed tons of people off! bwahahahahahaha

 

http://unmotivate.blogspot.com/

f-ing hilarious...

So many songs I want to post, but I will not spam you guys with my DMB obsession. I will say though, that this album is awesome.


(i apologize for not cutting this, but i tried and failed at "lj cut" about 15 times and I give up, the lyrics are the best part anyway)

I was surprised to see a replica of my current hair cut on the front of AOL.com this morning. Now I don't claim to have this original cutting-edge hairstyle, but I have seen only one person in my town with a variation on my cut that could even compare. To see a strikingly similar cut on a major media site worn by an up and coming icon (Kate from Jon&Kate +8) was just weird. Not only was she wearing a haircut like mine, but the entire article is about her haircut and all of the hype and controversy it is getting right now. People seem to either love it or hate it and many are running to their local salons to duplicate it.

Kate says in the article, "It's my attitude! Everybody wants it. It's work. I have very, very thick hair, so it's not going to work for everybody. I've seen people come through the book line with thin hair and it's just won't work. My hair stylist gets calls from all across the country."

This blurb is an accurate portrayal of the cut in general as I, too, have very thick hair which makes it look quite good. Also I have gotten numerous compliments on my hair just in the last couple of days. It gives me confidence which resonates in my attitude.

This is significant to me for a couple of different reasons:

Firstly, I am annoyed that there is all this mixed press surrounding this haircut which looks so similar to mine that I imagine many people will think that I 'jumped on the pro-Kate bandwagon' and got my cut to emulate hers. This is annoying because yesterday I had this cool funky offbeat haircut that looks rad and catches people's eye for its originality. Now I have the haircut of the month (year?) and I will be seeing it on every trend-following suburbanite. It's one thing if I can say that I've had the cut for years and that I played a small role in the setting of the trend, but I cant and I didn't. I was just inspired to get my haircut like this because I thought it would look cool.

Which brings me to the second reason this is significant on a more cosmic/spiritual/theoretical level; Why was I inspired to get my hair cut like this at the same time as Kate and who knows who else? I have a (somewhat borrowed) theory that when ideas strike us they are also striking a number of other people across the world. Have you ever read something in a book or article and gone, "Hey! I thought of that a couple of years ago! Why didn't I publish it?!" Or seen a new product and remembered and idea of something incredibly similar which you discarded believing it would not be marketable? I believe that when the universe/source/God wants an idea to be manifested in reality or needs that manifestation, it places the inspiration in many different fields of fertile soil to increase the chance of germination and maturity of the idea.

I don't know, it's just an idea I have, I am sure someone somewhere has already published it. :D

Here's the Article

2 Jobs

15 shifts

in 13 days

I just finished shifts 8 and 9 of 15 today...

last day off: 5/1

next day off 5/15


um...


help???????

Two Step

Say, my love, I came to you with best intentions
You laid down and gave to me just what I'm seeking
Love, you drive me to distraction
Do you believe that we might last a thousand years
or more if not for this,
our flesh and blood
It ties you and me right up
Tie me down

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
These things we cannot change

Hey, my love, you came to me like wine comes to this mouth
Grown tired of water all the time
You quench my heart and you quench my mind

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but
sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
The things we cannot
Celebrate, you and me, climbing two by two, to be sure
these days continue, things we cannot change

Oh, my love I came to you
with best intentions
You laid down and gave to me
just what I'm seeking

Celebrate we will
Because life is short
but sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
Things we cannot change...
Things we cannot change

On The Radio
Regina Spektor
Ah-ah-ara-ah-ah...
Ah-ah-ara

This is how it works
It feels a little worse
Than when we drove our hearse
Right through that screaming crowd
While laughing up a storm
Until we were just bone
Until it got so warm
That none of us could sleep
And all the styrofoam
Began to melt away
We tried to find some worms
To aid in the decay
But none of them were home
Inside their catacomb
A million ancient bees
Began to sting our knees
While we were on our knees
Praying that disease
Would leave the ones we love
And never come again

On the radio
We heard November Rain
That solo's real long
But it's a pretty song
We listened to it twice
'Cause the DJ was asleep

Pampapam-papam

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again

And on the radio
You'll hear November Rain
That solo's awful long
But it's a good refrain
You'll listen to it twice
'Cause the DJ is asleep
On the radio (oh oh oh)
On the radio
On the radio - uh oh
On the radio - uh oh
On the radio - uh oh
On the radio - oooohh - uhu
Pamparam-param
Pamparam-param

Ah-ah-ara-ah-ah...

2.56am:

A short little blogy thing...

So Its SOOOPER late right now, and I should really be sleeping. However, I decided I wanted to quickly get the music off of my flash drives... so they can, you know, be more free...

So having done that I have just had like ANOTHER mini x-mas!!! All of my live Dave Matthews AND Ben Harper's Burn to shine were on there, as well as a bunch of other things I have sorely missed, and in the case of Ben Harper had thought that I had lost it. It was a really awesome treat... Now I am listening to Seek Up by Dave Matthews, which, incidentally is an AWESOME SONG in every different version that is available of it.

Its especially sweet to be without access to all this music which you love so much but maybe took its awesomness for granted until suddenly and without warning you no longer have it and then when you get it back (even in small bits) you remember why it was so important to you in the first place.

For example, Dave Matthews; there is a lot of connotations with 'liking DM' like only frat boys like DMB or only Whiners like DMB etc etc, he sold out and he had gotten all sucky and blah blah blah, and in the course of not listening to DMB for a bit I let this kind of lip-service get to me a bit and I find myself wondering why I ever bothered to collect every album of his... and then I hear that song that I could listen to 6593141815611.93 Times a dozen differen recordings and still LOVE it. and DMB has several songs which meet that narrow criteria and he is just so damn intense and real and heavy and awesome. I dont give a f if you dont like DMB or if you want to judge me for liking it, but I gotta say... I really do like DMB and I probably always will.

(wow that turned a little prostelitizing/defensive there didn't it?)

I really was just trying to illustrate how important this music is to me.

Julia Star

3:47am: still awake... ripping dmb...just thought you'd like to know.

13
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΙΓ
PILGRIM-TALK

O thou that settest out upon The Path, false is the
Phantom that thou seekest. When thou hast it
hou shalt know all bitterness, thy teeth fixed in
the Sodom-Apple.
Thus hast thou been lured along That Path, whose
terror else had driven thee far away.
O thou that stridest upon the middle of The Path, no
phantoms mock thee. For the stride’s sake thou
stridest.
Thus art thou lured along That Path, whose fascination
else had driven thee far away.
O thou that drawest toward the End of The Path,
effort is no more. Faster and faster dos thou fall;
thy weariness is changed into Ineffable Rest.
For there is not Thou upon That Path: thou hast
become The Way.

[the book of lies - aleister crowley]

I sit here in a new skin, new life, new look. Am I changed? I am the same? Does it matter?

Hey this is FOR REAL!


(sorry to spam you with my political propaganda)

((vote Obama))

 (my own (moderately pirated) version)

1. Porn: trust me on this one girls!
2. Steel-toed boots: bonus points for any color besides black and brown
3. Books: on many topics, also other reading material such as periodicals
4. A vibrator.
5. Friends that you like for reasons other than their sex and gender.
6. A box of condoms.
7. A voter’s registration card
8. A reliable car. Nobody with a good car needs to be justified. (Even better, reliable public transportation)
9. A list of goals. Not necessarily corporate goals or plans to rule the earth. Just stuff you want to accomplish for yourself
10. a toolkit (bonus here for color that is feminine)
11. comfortable underwear: because a guy who is not turned on by white cotton underware doesn't watch enough porn and therefore is unlikely to be good in bed.
12. enough sense of self so that she can make her home comfortable for herself…and not design it around the presumed proclivities of potential mates
13. A two-headed dildo or a good strap-on: a sure-fire test of his flexibility and openness.
14. Lots of fresh produce. Extra points for mangoes.
15. A do-it-yourself mentality.
16. Compact mirror and floss(picks) for picking crap out of your teeth: no matter how much self confidence you have, you still look like a newb if you have spinach in your teeth.
17.Fun pajamas.
18. A matching bra & panty set that makes you feel sexy: because you should be sexy for YOU not him. ON YOUR TERMS.
19. A white down comforter (for comforting)
20. A thick journal and fountain pen on the night table: even a scrap of paper and pencil will do.
21. A close friend who would help you move and bury bodies if needed.
22. A membership to AAA. The membership to AA is optional.
23. A passport
24. Knows how to play pool, poker and blackjack: bonus points if you're good!
25. An emergency pint of Ben and Jerry's to get you through tough times: or a number for B&J delivery!
26. Mace, pepper spray, AND a rape whistle (and I'm talking for loveplay, not for protection)
27. A really good set of sheets. (For you, not "him."): to put under the down comforter.
28.Your own set of balls, so you don't need to wait around for someone to hold your hand when there's something new that you're dying to try, like finally get that tattoo, jump out of a plane, scuba dive, kiss a girl...etc.
29. good quality kitchen ware: cooking skills are even better!
30. A couple of sexy and reliable pair of jeans
31. A belief: any belief really will do.
32. A sense of direction or constant acccess to a map: getting lost is lame.
33. google reader: wean yourself from your addiction to TV news. Read Feeds.
34. The ablitly to change a tire.
35. GOOD CREDIT: if this is news to you....um...well.... good luck living.
36. Money in Savings: For rainy (or sunny) days.
37. A Mag light: for selfdefence and emergencys two is better. one at home and one in the car.

10. His name. John Sidney McCain. America has seen a fair share of notable Johns, and McCain would be a proud addition to such a list, including: John Adams, John Hancock, John Stamos, John Wilkes Booth, Jon Bon Jovi…and let’s not forget John Smith, the lovable American that brought the power and success of democracy to Pocahontas’ accepting village. John’s last name, McCain, stands like a bold rock on the page, and has the McCorporate power prefix like that of the All-American cheeseburger. His name might as well be McAmerica. McCain’s competition is futile, as his first name rhymes with Iraq (Barack), and he shares his middle name with Saddam (Hussein). That’s a double-whammy. Did I mention his last name is strikingly similar to Osama? Triple whammy. That’s the most un-American name I’ve ever heard of.

9. John McCain doesn’t know how to use a computer. In an interview with Yahoo News, McCain was asked if he used “a Mac or a PC,” to which he responded triumphantly with, “I am an illiterate who relies on my wife to handle everything like that.” Bravo, John. It’s about time we as Americans did away with all this “technological” nonsense and moved towards the good old days, back when you wrote information on clay tablets and were struck with a ruler for bad posture or for not poking fun at a minority. Remember those days, John? It’s not like computers have anything to do with being in charge of nuclear weapons, right?

8. McCain’s not interested in social issues. He bluntly quoted, “It’s not the social issues I care about,” and couldn’t be more enlightening. Who cares about civil rights? Who cares about the people? Not America, that’s for damn sure. If there’s one thing America stands for, it’s democracy (see: imperialism). As long as McCain’s in office, we’ll be too preoccupied with the important issues like national security to worry about little “social issues.”

7. McCain doesn’t understand economics. He quotes, “The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should.” Ain’t that the truth. I’ve never been the best at balancing my checkbook, and it’s just a myth concocted by the Democrats that our economy is in the gutter. As long as those tax cuts keep digging into the working class, I’m home free! Plus, economics isn’t that important of an issue (see Reason 8 for details).

6. He has a great sense of humor. At a National Rifle Association rally, a hilarious joke was made about Senator Barack Obama being assassinated. The joke stated, “That was Barack Obama. He just tripped off a chair. He’s getting ready to speak and someone aimed a gun at him and he fell to the floor.” Actually, that quote didn’t come from McCain, but Senator Mike Huckabee. What a jokester, though! Let’s hope he carries that NRA sense of humor straight into the VP spot!

5. He’s intimidating. Let’s be honest. The greatest quality we need to look for in our next president is how well they’d fair in a staring contest against terrorists. Plural. Well, ladies and gentlemen, McCain strikes fear into the hearts of even the toughest of tough, as a fellow American and Republican Senator quoted, “The thought of him [McCain] being president sends a cold chill down my spine. He’s erratic. He’s hotheaded. He loses his temper and he worries me.” Fuck yes. That is word for word what we need to hope Bin Laden is saying in his cave in whatever the hell language foreigners speak. Once we get an arsenal of nuclear weapons into the hands of a hot head like McCain, terrorists won’t know what to do (don’t worry, we’d nuke them before they nuked us).

4. McCain knows how to win. When that preppy-boy Matt Lauer asked McCain what a time frame for bringing American soldiers back from Iraq would be, John replied with, “That’s not too important. What’s important is the casualties.” You tell him, John. What does Matt Lauer know about war? It’s obvious that the only thing that matters is death. Families that are whining about their children fighting war across the world will just have to suck it, ‘cause they ain’t dead yet! McCain also stated he’d be perfectly fine with keeping troops in Iraq for 100 years. Why the fuck not, right? I mean, if the people of Iraq didn’t want us there, they probably would’ve told us by now. It’s not that big of a deal, America. It’s only a century.

3. He’s a religious man. Not just that, McCain knows that the real way to succeed as a country is not to acknowledge all those kooky religions that this salad bowl of a country is following, but to focus simply on one: the best one. Unite the people and their beliefs. Mccain says, “The number one issue that is in the selection of the United States [president] is ‘will this person carry on in the Judeo-Christian tradition that has made this Nation the greatest experiment of mankind.”‘ Amen. To Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

2. He’s going to bomb the shit out of Iran. McCain is an all-American. He’s a military man, and a POW to be exact. He knows his guns. Therefore, placing the military at the disposal of a bitter war veteran is the best choice for our nation. Researchers could prove, one assumes, that there would be no negative consequences for invading yet another country in the Middle East. If anything, it would only assert our worldly dominance and get those pesky terrorists off our backs. We need to open up the files on Brinkmanship, an idea developed in the Cold War by John Foster Dulles, who told Eisenhower the best way to defend our nation was to use nuclear weapons as a threat and bring war “to the brink.” Hell, Cold War ideals like containment have worked damn well so far. We need to take charge, and McCain can do this. He playfully stated to press, “You know that old Beach Boys song, ‘Bomb Iran?’ ‘Bomb, bomb, bomb…bomb, bomb Iran.’” Ha! That McCain is one hilarious guy! I believe he changed the words to the classic, “Barbara Ann,” but if you ask me we should call up Brian Wilson and the rest of the boys and ask them to change the lyrics. They’re much better that way.

1. He knows how to put a woman in her place. At a public conference, McCain’s wife, Cindy, playfully twirled his hair and stated (annoyingly), “You’re getting a little thin up there.” McCain kept his cool and replied with a subtle, “At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.” McCain claims it was a “long day,” which I see as fair proof that this behavior will be continued during his long days in the Oval Office. This is good news, America, because we need a strong-willed, masculine president that’s not afraid to tell his woman to make him a sandwich. Because sometimes he’s hungry. And sometimes she’s being a cunt. And America, McCain will not hesitate to throw the c-word into battle against those cowardly terrorists, either.

There you have it, my fellow Americans. The top ten reasons to vote for John Sidney McCain. The facts are here. The quotes have been spoken. I know you may be hesitant because of his age, but let me assure you that his senile behavior will only enhance the bold and immediate responses McCain will provide to threats made to American soil. Think about your safety, America, and vote McCain in November.